extinguishment | IC Inbox

I think that it's possible to be shitty about it, but it's not a foregone conclusion.

You don't have to struggle through on your own, you don't deserve that kind of suffering. You deserve comfort and someone that makes you happy. Your relationship with this new guy will grow into something different than your relationship with Eliot - there are gonna be ways he's not the same, and you have to embrace those things too. Enjoy all of him, not just the Eliot parts. And be honest with him that things might be a little weird at first. That's the way to avoid shittiness.

[Deeply chagrined:] I think he knows it's gonna be weird. I kind of...cried. A lot.

Not like, during but he kinda woke up and had to talk me out of the bathroom.

[He truly wishes he could be surprised about this but no, that checks out.]

He sounds like he's worth keeping around for a while.

Well. [A little quieter now.] Assuming he...gets to.

[It feels like the kind of cruel joke the fairies would play to let him get attached to someone else and start putting the pieces back together, only to take him again.]

There's always that. But... gather ye roses while ye may, is I think how the line goes.

[It would be shitty to come to Daniel for advice and then be like, that sounds like bullshit. But he's thinking it.]

Part of me also kind of thinks he could have been anyone, as long as he was...I feel like he...he'll be capable of telling me I'm too much drama and stepping away if he wants to, which...like, the population of this place on the whole has a weird proportion of really nice people who I do not at all think could do that. So.

Knowing someone has healthy boundaries is a good thing. It means you can trust their yeses as well as their nos.

[He pauses.] But if he does that hurtfully, I'm gonna shove a boot so far up his ass he tastes shoe polish.

[That's enough to startle a bit of a laugh out of Quentin.] I mean, I don't think he'd be intentionally cruel about it. He might be clumsy or try to be funny about it, that's kinda the vibe I get. But I mean, I told him to leave and go back to his room and he didn't, so. If he had a mean streak, you'd think it would come out there.

[Good, that was the intention.] Okay. I'll trust your judgment on that one but you know I'm here to help kick some arse if necessary.

You should bring him by the club sometime if you'd like to. You know I'm always up to make new friends.

[And he can take the measure of this guy and... well, not make sure he's good enough for Quentin, but get a sense of what to expect from him.]

[Quentin takes a second to just...picture Rich's face, when faced with Daniel's particular brand. Yes, indeed, Quentin thinks they will visit the club sometime.]

He met me during that week when everyone was weird and seems to like me just as much both ways. He seems to roll with the punches pretty good.

Would it be weird if I just sat him down like. Look, I don't know how to slow-drip the fact that I'm suicidally depressed and essentially grieving my husband of fifty years who I've lost three times now so here's, like, all of that at once, dump me now or brace yourself.

Right, that week.

[No comment from Daniel on how that went for him. Profoundly weirdly, mainly.]

Honestly? I don't think that's the worst way you could go. It'll set expectations from the start and open an honest conversation. It might be weird, but weird isn't bad.

I might, then. Just. I think if he was like, hmm, maybe not, over that, at this stage, it would probably hurt less than if it happened later.

I think I might just. Be. Um. Ready.

[Ready for what? Well, to move past Eliot, but he's not ready to say it out loud. That's gonna be part of the process. For now, just...ready.]

That makes sense.

[Aw, Q. Daniel is... jealous? A bit.]

Brilliant. Go at whatever pace you feel comfortable with.

[Probably not a cause for jealousy. It's not that Quentin will ever really move past Eliot, that's not an option. But he at least wants to, in the words he's used before, be a person without him.]

I don't know. We'll see.

I said to someone awhile ago that it's not like anything I could do here would stick, vis-a-vis depression, so. Something has to change.

[Daniel is tempted to point out that the time Q is here is time he's experiencing so if he wants to do something about his depression it's as good a time as any, but he's not sure this is the discussion for that. He'll stay in his lane.]

I'm rooting for you. I really hope that he's good for you and you have a great time.

[Very cute that Daniel thinks he meant positive things.]

Thank you. And thanks for just, you know. Listening. Being on my side, I guess.

[HE WOULD PREFER TO THINK THAT YES.]

You know I'm here for you anytime you need.

Um. There is actually.

I can't. Um. Well. [huff.] You remember the...thing that me and Eliot got from you, yeah?

Yeah, I remember.

[If Quentin can't say the word collar, Daniel won't say it either. He'll let him get through this at his own pace.]

[Well, this time it's more of an embarrassment thing than a grief thing, but you know. Quentin's neuroses are many and varied.]

Um. I was thinking maybe, um. Could you maybe. Hold it for me? I just, I don't...I keep telling myself to just get rid of it? Or to keep it to use in like, a different way? And I can't...seem to do either of those things and I don't feel like I should just be letting it sit in my room so. Um. I thought maybe if someone had it then I would feel less, like, pressure. To act.

Yeah, sure, of course. I'd be happy to hold onto it for you. I'll keep it safe.

[He's got so much storage space now that he has his own house. No need to worry about overcrowding.]

Okay. Um, I'll bring it by tonight or tomorrow.

[He's gonna have to have a cry about it first but that's pretty standard procedure for him right now.]

Sure. I'll be at the club tonight so you can stop by there or come by the house tomorrow.

Okay. Um, I'll let you go for now, then.

Sure. See you soon.

IC Inbox

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;